Blog Archives

LEGALLY BLONDE?

2/28/2013

The classic slapstick comedy trio known as “The Three Stooges” made a total of 190 short films for Columbia Pictures between 1934 and 1959. My children grew up watching old VHS tapes of them, and know most of the episodes by heart. “Disorder in the Court” was the title given to one of these short films. Needless to say, in this memorable episode, the Stooges have themselves an unforgettable day in the halls of justice.

Years later, Charles M. Sevilla, a lawyer in private practice in San Diego, amassed a collection of actual humor from America’s courtrooms and compiled it all into a book with the same title: Disorder in the Court. Later on, he followed this up with a second collection titled Disorderly Conduct.

Among other places, his two works are available at Amazon, the online book retailer, which describes them together as “misstatements from the courtroom - legalese marred by malapropisms, slips of the tongue, eccentric interpretations”, etc… all “gleefully quoted” in his two compilations.

Readers are encouraged to “Sit back and enjoy a collection of verbatim exchanges from the halls of justice, where defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, collide to produce memorably insane comedy.”

I found an excerpt from his material posted online at http://mistupid.com/people/page064.htm, and thought I would post a few of them here today for your enjoyment. Remember, these things were actually stated and recorded by court reporters.

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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy."
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

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Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at the time?

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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
Q: None.
A: Were there any girls?

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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

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Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

About all I can say, at this point, is "OBJECTION!" On what grounds? That this material is obviously "Incompetent, Irrelevant, and Immaterial"! Forgive us, Perry Mason!

IN THE FATHER’S ARMS

2/25/2013

This past Sunday morning, we talked about Philip’s request on behalf of the disciples (in John 14) for Jesus to show the Heavenly Father to them. Jesus, of course, used this as a teaching moment to help the disciples understand that He and the Father were one. If the disciples had seen Him (and they had), then He assured them that they had seen the Father already. He also used the occasion (based on Thomas' earlier question in the same discussion) to assure them that He was going to His Father’s house to prepare a place for them in order that they could go there as well.

It is interesting to do a study of God’s word and see just how much Jesus, as God the Son, had to say about God the Father. He taught us many things about our Heavenly Father, not the least of which was that we can affectionately call him “Abba” (or “Daddy” in the modern vernacular), because of the love He has lavished upon us.

As I was reflecting on these things, I couldn’t help but think of my own earthly Father, and the love he showed me while he was alive. James Doyle, Senior Pastor of Foothills Southern Baptist Church in Yuma, Arizona, must have had a similar upbringing to mine, as well as a similarly loving father. He shares the following story from his own childhood.

As a five year old, I would pretend to fall asleep during the evening worship service! If I did, I knew my dad would carry me home.

I would do this because we walked to and from church. It was about one mile each way. Being little wasn’t my problem. The length wasn’t my problem. I enjoyed the walk with my family. However, my older brothers teased me by telling me that in one of the fields we’d walk through there was a "boogey man" who would "get me". Now that frightened me! One night I really did fall asleep. Dad picked me up. I woke up right away but continued to pretend to be asleep as he carried me.

That night we went right through that frightening field and I was not one bit afraid. I felt the warmth, the strength and the protection of my dad’s arms. To this day, some 50 plus years later, I can still "feel" his arms and "hear" his breathing as I remember his ultimate protection.

So, it wasn’t long until I would constantly pretend to fall asleep on the pew, knowing I could go through that frightening experience safe in my dad’s arms!

Today, when I talk about death and dying, I realize that it, too, can be a frightening experience. But one thing I know for sure, I am always safe in Abba’s arms. He made me a promise that when my room was ready, He would come for me and take me there. Even the frightening experience of death’s field is no match for our Father’s secure and strong Arms!

Well said, James. I can relate so well to this story. So many times, as a small child riding home from church, I pretended that I was asleep, just so my father would carry me inside our house from the car and put me into a warm bed.

Years later, of course, when I became a father myself, this whole scene was to be repeated many times; only by then, I was the father carrying my own children inside to bed. I knew they were only pretending to sleep, but somehow I didn’t mind. I rather enjoyed carrying them all along.

For my part, I am thankful for the love of my earthly father. I am even more thankful for the love of my Heavenly Father. The first one loved me for a time; the Other for all eternity. In their own respective ways, each has loved me and carried me safely toward home in the arms of love.

NOTE: Rev. Doyle’s website is: http://www.foothillsfamily.
net/templates/System/details.asp?id=44106&PID=916477.

FOUL PLAY?

2/22/2013

It’s been a busy week. In fact, my wife and I have just gotten in from a dessert mystery theater performance for couples at our church. It was called “A Chocolate Whodunit”; and it was a mystery involving a candy company and the kidnapping of a cow. We enjoyed the program as we tried to figure out who the guilty party was. In fact, it was a lot like when we all used to play the old board game titled Clue.

As I was trying to figure out the mystery, I thought about a story I had once heard involving a similar dastardly deed. I thought I would post it here tonight.

A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road.

He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man's body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over his head, and he is covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands of little rainbow sprinkles.

A puzzled onlooker asks the policeman what he thinks has happened, to which the policeman replies:

"It looks to me like he's topped himself!"*

Uh oh, looks like I’m “guilty” of needing a new joke book! And quickly, too, because another one like that could be construed as downright “criminal”!

*SOURCE: http://www.comedy-zone.net/jokes/laugh/crime
/crime009.htm.

CLOSE CALLS

2/18/2013

Several years ago, I took my family on a vacation to Arizona. While there, we visited Meteor Crater near Flagstaff. This massive hole is about 4,000 feet in diameter, some 570 feet, and is surrounded by a rim that rises c. 150 feet above the surrounding plains.

Google Images has several awesome pictures of this impressive place, undoubtedly caused by a meteorite impact in the distant past. Scores of such craters have been found all over our planet. One can only imagine the devastation that occurred when they were formed.

Well, it appears that the world apparently avoided a similar catastrophe this past week. I’m referring to Asteroid Number 2012 DA14. The internet is abuzz with all the startling facts surrounding this large chunk of space rock. It is apparently what is called a “near-Earth” asteroid, with an estimated diameter of 160 feet, and an estimated mass of 190,000 metric tons.

It wasn’t even known about until it was discovered by an observatory in Granada, Spain on February 23, 2012. And even then, it was only discovered seven days after it had already flown by about 1,620,000 miles away from Earth.

However, during its February 15, 2013 passage, the asteroid passed by at a mere 17,200 miles from the surface of Earth: a record close approach for a known object of this size. Now, this last passage may not sound all that close, until you consider that the moon is only 225,622 miles away at the nearest point of its elliptical orbit (and at its most distant point, 252,088 miles away).

In fact, most of our communication satellites orbit the earth at around 22,236 miles above the equator. In light of this, it appears that Asteroid 2012 DA14, passing by well within that range, did in fact come pretty close to earth. It might even be termed a “close shave”.

Of course, the great irony is that while most all of the world’s astronomers seemed to be focused on the passing of this potentially devastating asteroid, yet another one, completely undetected, was fast approaching from the other side of the planet. And this on the very same day! NASA scientists now say that this second asteroid, which exploded over Chelyabinsk, Russia, was most likely about 55 feet wide with a mass of 10,000 tons before it entered Earth’s atmosphere. That put it in a troublesome category for asteroids: one big enough to cause damage, but still small enough to evade detection.

And how much damage did it cause? Current estimates are that it had the energy equivalent of nearly 500 kilotons of TNT, or about 30 times the power of the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima in WW2. When it exploded at a height of around 12-15 miles above the ground, more than 1100 people were still injured, even as windows were blown out of buildings for miles in every direction. One can only guestimate what would have happened if such an explosion had occurred over a major population center like New York or Los Angeles.

Or even worse: one shutters to think what would have happened if Asteroid DA14 had traveled a similar path. Would the effect have been much worse? Most probably. Imagine an explosion at least three times (and as much as sixteen times) more intense! such things do happen. Ever heard of Tunguska? On June 30, 1908, over the Tunguska River region of Siberia in Russia, an asteroid estimated to have been about 330 feet across apparently exploded about five miles above the ground.

In doing so, it knocked down an estimated 80 million trees over an area covering 830 square miles. Pictures on the internet from a 1927 expedition are astounding to behold. It is probable that the shock wave from the blast would have measured at least 5.0 on the Richter scale. An explosion of this magnitude is capable of virtually destroying a large metropolitan area.

Little wonder then that several programs on the horizon holding the promise of finding unknown asteroids that could threaten Earth are now being fast tracked. Among them are: the Asteroid Terrestrial-impact Last Alert System, or ATLAS, which aims to establish two telescopes in Hawaii dedicated to scanning the skies for potential threats, as well as the new Sentinel Space Telescope, which would scan Earth's surroundings from an outward-looking position in a Venus-like orbit, interior to Earth's orbit, hopefully providing advance warning for asteroids like the one that blew up on Friday.

So, what do we, as believers, make of all this? Certainly, if the technology exists to provide warning and/or security against such strikes, it ought to be investigated and applied. To willingly ignore the potential benefits of such technology would not be prudent. It would be like living in a high crime area and refusing to put in a burglar alarm.

At the same time, we are reminded in the Bible that God Himself has numbered all of our days in advance (Psalm 139:16). We are also told that He has commanded His angels concerning us to guard us in all our ways (Psalm 91:11). And Jesus, Himself, on several occasions in John’s gospel, emphasized that His own “hour” had not yet come (John 2:4; 7:30; 8:20). By this, He meant that God alone had appointed the time for His death.

From these Biblical passages (and many more), we rightfully conclude that God alone controls life and death. Because of this, we choose not to live in fear. We boldly face each and every day, trusting that our Heavenly Father, who cares for the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, also cares for us.

In fact, only Heaven will reveal just how many close calls we all actually faced and survived. And my suspicion is that we will all one day be quite surprised to discover just what all had threatened us along the way, most all of which we remained blissfully ignorant of at the time.

Besides, as Mark Twain once said, "I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened." And who really wants to live their life that way?!

ALL OR NOTHING

2/15/2013

The newest James Bond movie was released this past week on DVD and Blue Ray. As is so often the case, multiple Bond movies have been and are being featured on television to accompany this newest release. Now I am not for one moment championing the morality of this fictional spy character. He certainly leaves much to be desired in this aspect.

But when author Ian Fleming created the fictitious James Bond in the years right after World War Two, he initially based his protagonist, in large part, on the exploits of actual agents during that greatest of all conflicts.

Fleming also struck a responsive chord with a world in the midst of a newfound “Cold War” in the 1950’s. For this reason, his spy novels sold like proverbial “hot cakes”. Indeed, we are told that President John F. Kennedy was always including the latest Bond novel on his reading list. It was practically inevitable, therefore, that Fleming’s Bond novels would eventually be made into movies for the big screen.

Needless to say, many Hollywood production companies wanted in on the matter. But the one that eventually won out was called EON Productions, run by Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman. They believed so strongly in the possibility for success for the Bond movies that they staked everything they had financially on their new production company. In fact, EON Productions stands for “Everything or Nothing”.

Of course, we now know that their big gamble paid off. To date, the Bond franchise has been around for over 50 years, having now produced 23 films, and long ago surpassed the actual number of Bond stories produced by Ian Felming himself. This makes the James Bond franchise the single most successful movie series of all time.

Altogether, the Bond films have taken in a cumulative box office gross of nearly $11 Billion, and that on a cumulative production budget of only $1.5 Billion. (And this figure does not include the proceeds from rentals and/or digital sales.)

The lesson in all of this should be readily apparent. It is important to have vision in one’s life. Famed author Margaret E. Sangster once said, “Dreaming and seeing always precede doing.” Millennia earlier, wise old King Solomon had already grasped this principle. At no time in her history did the nation of Israel thrive like she did under his leadership. And what was his admonition? Simply this: “Where there is no vision, the people perish…” (Proverbs 29:18)

In light of this, what does your future look like? Do you have a vision for your tomorrow? If not, what will your tomorrow entail? It will always be important for you and I to take control of our future, or else our future will take control of us!

And once a vision for tomorrow has been secured, we must then be prepared to see it through until it becomes a reality. That may sound easy at first; but it may not always be so. It may mean taking a little risk, and then undertaking a little hard work. It will certainly mean having a little tenaciousness.

But for those who do have a vision, and who are prepared to work hard to see that vision realized, the future is bright, boundless, and perhaps even bountiful. For those without a vision, or without the wherewithal to see their vision through, there simply is no future. And they themselves will surely perish.

So, what does your tomorrow look like?! Take a moment to look it over. Don't like what you see? Then maybe, just maybe, right now is the time to do something about it! Now, envision that!

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

2/12/2013

Okay, I couldn’t resist. Here’s one more joke about love…

One Sunday, a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."*

As Valentine’s Day approaches, love is in the air. I hope and pray that all who have been blessed by God with a spouse will take the opportunity to let that spouse, whether husband or wife, know just how much they are loved during this time of the year.

And if God has not provided you with a spouse, or if that spouse has now gone on to Heaven and awaits you there, there are still many people who need to be loved with the love of Jesus. I hope you will find someone to love in the name of Christ. For, as John the Apostle says in chapter four of his first New Testament letter (verses 7-12),

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

*SOURCE: This and many other clean Valentine’s Day jokes about love and marriage can be found at this web site: http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Holidays/Valentines-Day/Funny-Valentine-Jokes.aspx?p=6.

DANGEROUS WATERS

2/8/2013

I love programs about nature. The Discovery Channel has recently been airing a series on Africa, narrated by Forest Whitaker. As I viewed a portion of this series, I was reminded of a story I had recently read. Palmer Chinchen, in his book titled True Religion, shares an insightful lesson he once learned while traveling in Africa. He writes…

My brothers and I had traveled to the western edge of Zimbabwe to raft the Zambezi River. We boarded our raft at the base of the Victoria Falls. Massive amounts of water spilled over the top of the giant falls and dropped almost a thousand feet; the roar was deafening.

The falls are the largest in the world, more than a mile wide and three hundred feet high. Mist from the spray that fills the air like fog can be seen for fifty miles; the locals call it "Smoke That Thunders." The water from the falls rushes down the gorge in torrents, creating the world's largest rapids. In the United States, the highest-class rapid you are allowed to raft is a Class 5. The Zambezi's whitewater rapids can top 7 and 8...

As I sat on the edge of the eight-person raft, all suited up in a tight, overstuffed jacket and a thick crash helmet, I felt like an overcautious tourist about to mount an overpowered moped in Honolulu or rent roller-blades on Huntington Beach. The Zambezi can't be that dangerous, can it?

But then our guide [said], "When the raft flips…" There was no "If the raft flips" or "Or on the off chance we get flipped."   But "When the raft flips." He went on, "…stay in the rough water. You will be tempted to swim toward the stagnate water at the edge of the banks. Don't do it. Because it is in the stagnate water that the crocs wait for you. They are large and hungry. Even when the raft flips, stay in the rough water."*

The implications of this story should be obvious: still water can be very dangerous! The spiritual application of this should be particularly apparent to you and me as followers of Jesus Christ. Stagnancy will kill one’s spirit! It is important for us all that we continually be challenged, and that we constantly struggle as we run our course for Christ. The moment that we are tempted to pull up and rest is the very moment when we are in our greatest peril. For this is the moment when the evil one usually strikes.

Remember the admonition of the Apostle Peter who said:   Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (I Peter 5:8, NLT)

And what is true for individual Christians is also true for the church of Jesus Christ as a whole. We must ever resist the temptation toward stagnancy! As Dr. Chinchen asserts, “God needs us out there in the rough waters, pouring our lives into people... Live in the whitewater. Live where it's just a little bit uncertain and unsafe.”

Amen!

*SOURCE: Palmer Chinchen, True Religion: Taking Pieces of Heaven to Places of Hell on Earth (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook Publishing, 2010), pp. 55-57.

NOTE: Dr. Chinchen is Lead Pastor of The Grove Church in Chandler, Arizona (http://www.thegroveaz.org/ministries/it-starts-here/). Dr. Chinchen's own personal web page is: http://www.palmerchinchen.com/.  His blog can be found at: http://palmerchinchen.blogspot.com/.

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

2/4/2013

Years ago, I heard a Pastor tell the following story about love and marriage…

It seems that a certain man was travelling through a small southern town and stopped off at a little diner to grab a bite to eat. He sat down at the counter and ordered a burger and fries. As he waited for his food, he began to look around.

It was then that he noticed a lady sitting in a booth across the diner. She appeared to be staring at him. To the best of his memory, he did not know the lady; nor had he ever seen her before.

This all made him a little uncomfortable; but he decided it would be best simply to ignore the matter. A little while later, his food was delivered, and he began to eat. A moment of two later, however, he happened to look around again and noticed that the lady was still staring at him, only much more intently this time. Slightly alarmed, he determined not even to look that way again.

Shortly thereafter, though, he noticed in his peripheral vision that the lady had now gotten up and moved onto the stool right next to him. Not knowing what else to do, he decided to speak. “Hello,’ he said, “is there something I can do for you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, “I really do not mean to be a bother to you; but I am just astounded at how much you look like my fourth husband!” “Your fourth husband?” he replied, “Just how many husbands have you had?”

She smiled and winked at him as she said slyly, “Three!”

Sadly, perhaps, the concepts of love and marriage have today become the object of far too many jokes. As we approach Valentine’s Day, when a significant amount of emphasis is put on these things, we would do well to ponder afresh and anew the significance of love and marriage. As we do, hopefully we will realize that, in reality, they are no laughing matter.

It comes as no great surprise to hear that the institution of marriage is under attack today as never before. Divorce rates actually exceed marriage rates in a number of communities, and even some states. Laws are being adopted which attempt to redefine the very definition of marriage. And some are even questioning whether or not the whole concept of marriage is necessary as a component of modern society.

But Biblically, marriage is held in extremely high regard. In Hebrews 13:4, the Bible says (in a very straightforward manner), “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

This is why I love Genesis 24, which records the story of Isaac and Rebekah. A careful study of the text shows us that the selection of a marriage partner was for Isaac a very serious matter. By inference, so should it be for us. My wife and I have been blessed with almost thirty years of marriage together. Before we were married, we dated for seven years. I am confident that the length and strength of our marriage has been directly related to the length and strength of our preparation for marriage.

In fact, I believe that the decision one makes about who to marry and how to go about that is so important that it is second only in significance to the decision made about what one will do with Jesus. Perhaps if more people saw it this way, love and marriage, which serve as the foundation of the home and the bedrock of society, would not be in the shape they are in today. And neither would our culture as we have come to know it. Food for thought the next time you find yourself sitting in a diner eating a hamburger and in effect being proposed to out of nowhere!

THE PRIZE AWAITING US

2/1/2013

Okay, I couldn’t help it. After all, it is Super Bowl weekend, and the culmination of months of football which has been played out on all levels: high school, collegiate, and professional. Most everybody is all geared up for the game, and folks are pretty much divided over which team they are rooting for.

So I thought I would post one more football story today. Only this time, rather than involve professional clubs, it centers on a certain college team. It seems that…

Two University of Alabama football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.

The exam was "fill in the blank" and the last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ____."   Bubba was stumped! He had no idea what to answer; but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?"   Tiny laughed, and then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba, "I remember now." he picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank.  Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder once again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell FARM?"   "You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy…" hissed Tiny, "Everybody knows that farm is spelled ‘E-I-E-I-O’."*

Oh well, I guess one doesn’t need to know how to spell if he is wearing a National Championship Ring, huh?! In the meantime, enjoy the game this Sunday, as you will be seeing the best of the best play. For my part, I will enjoy the game.

But I also look forward to the locker room scenes afterward. That is when the Lombardi Trophy, reserved only for those who are truly considered champions, will be handed out. Soon after, more Championship Rings will be handed out as well.

Every year, when this scene plays out, I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul, who was himself quite fond of using athletic analogies in his letters. In I Corinthians 9:24-27, he stated…

”Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”

I look forward to that wonderful day when all who have served our Lord will be given a crown that will last forever. Until then, I joyously run the race God has laid out for me. I trust you are doing the same.

By the way, I promise that there will be no more corny football jokes posted for a while.

*SOURCE: Based on a version about Florida State football players found on the “Football Jokes” web page at http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/footballjokes.html.