And trust me, being from Georgia and living in eastern Tennessee doesn’t make this matter any easier – especially over the last week of September each year as the build up to their annual game unfolds!
Of course, while the good folks of Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Missouri, South Carolina, and Tennessee all largely root against one another within the eastern division of the Southeastern Conference, they do at least share a common dislike for their opponents over in the western division, comprised of the equally good folks of Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas.
As we are even now in the thick of all these annual rivalries, I thought I would post a little humor today to help keep everyone from getting a little too keyed up and overwrought.
It seems that a man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.
The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter. So, walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, “Some doofus out front wants to buy half a head of lettuce...”
To his dismay, just as he finished his sentence and was turning around, he found the customer standing right behind him. So he quickly added, “And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half!” The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later that day, the manager said to the boy, “I was really impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. They have a promising future. Tell me, where are you from, son?” “Auburn Alabama, sir,” the boy replied. “Well, why did you leave Alabama?” the manager asked.
The boy replied, “Well, to be honest, sir, there ain’t nothin’ but mean old ugly ladies and big old football players down there.” “Really?!” said the manager. “I’ll have you know that my mother lives in Auburn, Alabama!” “No kidding,” replied the boy, quick as a flash: “What position does she play?!”
Given that my sister, who is a graduate of Auburn University, will inevitably read this, I will conclude by requesting that my readers remember me in prayer! (GO DAWGS!)
SOURCE: Based on a joke told by Paul Powell about Texas football players. Cf.: https://www.baylor.edu/content/services/document.php/66830.pdf, p.14.