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FELONIOUS FELINES

10/31/2011

A bit more about cats on this Halloween Monday...

For those of you who think my dislike of my wife’s cat is unjustified, please pay careful attention to the following news article that recently appeared in the Associated Press.

Dateline: July 26, 2011: FREEMANSBURG, Pa.

A bizarre set of circumstances sent an eastern Pennsylvania man to the hospital with a self-inflicted stab wound to the chest.

Freemansburg police say 50-year-old James Forte was opening a bag of coffee with a knife on Thursday night when his wife asked him a question. As he turned to her, Forte said a cat ran under his feet and he fell with the knife in his hand.

The steak knife went about an inch into Forte's chest. He was treated at a hospital and police say he will be fine. Freemansburg police Sgt. Martin Comer said he was skeptical at first but a preliminary investigation supports Forte's story. The man's wife and son corroborated the account. Comer said he will investigate further but the stabbing does not appear suspicious.

Suspicious indeed! Alas! Edgar Allen Poe appears to have been right about these fiendish felines all along. I tell you: it’s a conspiracy! They are all in on it! Every last one of the furry beasts!

Even as I type this, the fiendish thing that has so deceived my wife of its true intentions is crouched on the floor watching me. If I do not survive this Halloween night, take note of this post, and please, please, protect yourselves!

NOTE FROM MRS. VICKIE: There is, of course, another side to this whole issue. I notice that my husband did not point out another cat story recently in the news. So, I will.

WOMAN’S LIFE SAVED BY CAT

Dateline: Feb 8, 2011: WHEELING, WV

A woman is saved from her burning apartment, thanks to her pet cat.

Most people think of heroes as firefighters, police officers, or maybe even your teacher or neighbor. But a woman in West Virginia was saved by her feline companion, Opie. She's usually irritated from her cat's constant meowing but now she's thankful.

Denise Huss woke up to Opie making an unusual noise that sounded like a small child crying. It turns out he was meowing at the top of his lungs because there was a fire brewing in the apartment building she was in! She woke up to black smoke coming into her bedroom window. That gave her just enough time to grab Opie, her pajamas, and purse, then run out.

Within moments, her apartment on top of the two-story building was on fire. The blaze started in the basement, likely because of electrical problems. The entire building is considered a complete loss.

But lucky for Denise and thanks to Opie, they still have each other.

Please pray for my husband. His irrational dislike of my cat, Rudy, is entirely unfounded. Whether he knows it or not, Rudy loves him; and she would never, ever allow any harm whatsoever to come to him!

FURTHER NOTE FROM RUDY THE CAT: “Of course, Pastor Jack can trust me. Hee, hee, hee...”

THE PASTOR'S CAT

10/27/2011

It appears that I am not the only pastor in the world with cat issues. A church member sent the following story to me a little while back. She said that, for some reason, my ongoing “struggle for dominance” with my wife’s cat came to her mind. Anyway…

A certain pastor had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard. The kitten was then afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, and tried most everything he could think of to get it to come down.

The little kitten just would not come down. His problem was that the tree was not sturdy enough to climb. So the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to the bumper of his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten down.

That, then, is just what he did. He attached one end of a rope to the tree and the other to his car, and then pulled the tree downward, all the while checking his progress in the car. After getting out and trying unsuccessfully to reach the kitten, he decided that if he went just a little bit further with the car, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten.

But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went 'BOING!' and the kitten instantly sailed up through the air – completely out of sight.

Needless to say, the pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood hunting for the animal, asking people everywhere if they had seen a little kitten. Alas, though, nobody had seen any stray kitten. So he resigned himself to the matter, and then prayed, “Lord, I just commit this kitten into your safe keeping.” He then went on about his business.

A few days later, he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see lots of cat food. Now this woman was known by all as a cat hater. Intrigued, he asked her, 'Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?'

She replied, “You won't believe this, Pastor, but…” and then she told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat. For her part, she had kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had really pleaded with her for a cat... So the mom finally relented and told her little girl, “Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.”

She then told the pastor, “I watched my child go out in the yard, get down on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you simply will not believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. All of a sudden, this kitten just came flying out of the clear blue sky, with its little paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.”

I guess the Lord does work in mysterious ways! Now, let me assure you that I would never fling Mrs. Vickie’s cat out into space, at least not on purpose. But, if she ever would consent, I would be glad to give it away to anyone praying for a cat of their own. Really, I would just drop it right in on them. Of course, we all know that is about as unlikely to occur as what happened in this little story…

Note: This is an “oldie, but goodie” that has been around for quite a while. It has been told in several variations. Cf.: http://www.snopes.com/critters/mishaps/flying.aspand also
http://msgboard.snopes.com/message/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get
_topic/f/81/t/000452/p/1.html. Few people take the story seriously, but it does prompt us to laugh at the improbability of such a thing even as we envision it unfolding in our imaginations.

IN HIS HANDS

10/24/2011

An incident comes down to us from the Napoleonic wars that beautifully illustrates how our God is capable of doing for us the things we are not capable of doing for ourselves. It concerns the citizens of Feldkirch, Austria, who found themselves under siege by the greatest enemy of their day. The story goes as follows:

They didn’t exactly know what to do. Napoleon’s massive army was preparing to attack. Soldiers had been spotted on the heights above the little town, which was situated on the Austrian border. A council of citizens was hastily summoned to decide whether they should try to defend themselves or display the white flag of surrender.

It happened to be Easter Sunday, and the people had gathered in the local church. The pastor rose and said, "Friends, we have been counting on our own strength, and apparently that has failed. As this is the day of our Lord’s resurrection, let us just ring the bells, have our services as usual, and leave the matter in His hands. We know only our weakness, and not the power of God to defend us."

The council accepted his plan and the church bells rang. The enemy, hearing the sudden peal, concluded that the Austrian army had arrived during the night to defend the town. Before the service ended, the enemy broke camp and left.

Is the enemy at your gate? Are you facing a seemingly insurmountable obstacle? Is there no hope? Then do what the citizens of Feldkirch did. Turn it over to God. He fears no enemy. No obstacle is insurmountable to Him. He alone gives us hope.

King David of old understood this. He knew what it was like to be mistreated, to be falsely accused, and to be hunted by those who would do him harm. He also knew that God was His only true refuge. And in God he placed his trust.

This is why He cried out and gave us these immortal words:

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Amen.

My particular source was for this illustration can be found at: http://greenbaggins.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/the-helmet-of-salvation/; however, the story itself is readily available all over the web.

LET’S TALK COMPUTERS

10/22/2011

Time for a little humor. The following item came my way from a dear church member. I thought it would be appropriate to post during this, the week of my birthday.

Now, to fully appreciate this piece, you have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers. But even if you do not qualify on either of these counts, your computer probably still flusters you on occasion, so please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks, I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'W' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. At no extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A FEW DAYS LATER…)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'…

LITTLE THINGS MATTER

10/20/2011

In a previous post, I shared an illustration about Pioneer 10 (sometimes referred to as “The Little Satellite That Could”), which amazed everyone by its tireless devotion to its job. I thought I would post one other illustration today having to do with space probes. It too teaches us a valuable lesson.

Blake Shipp of Carriere, Mississippi, citing an article originally written by Brian Larson of Preaching Today magazine back in the year 2000, points out the many problems that have plagued NASA in their attempt to reach Mars.

In 1997, the Mars Pathfinder Lander riveted the nation's attention with a live feed from Mars' surface. We were fascinated by live pictures. The future looked bright for a new and improved NASA. They planned to send at least one mission to Mars every 26 months, but to do this they had to follow a new policy by their head director Dan Goldin: Faster. Better. Cheaper.

To design these missions for about one-tenth the cost, they cut staff and poorly trained the remaining staff; they overworked their navigation teams, giving them responsibilities for up to three missions at one time. They tried to get a quality product without putting money, effort, and time into it.

The next two missions were utter failures. In September of 1999, the Mars Climate Orbiter failed due to a dumb mistake. The builder had used English units of measurements in the systems while the operators at NASA were using metric units.

This past spring, the Mars Polar Lander broke into thousands of tiny pieces as it hit the surface of Mars at 50 miles an hour because a design flaw cut the braking system off too soon. This flaw, the engineering team acknowledged, could have been prevented by running a software simulation that was not purchased because of lack of funding. Skipping steps ended in disaster.

Obviously, details are important. Pay attention to the small things, for they really do matter. As Jesus once said of the faithful servant: “His lord said to him, Well done, good and true servant: you have been true in a small thing, I will now give you control over great things…” (Matthew 25:23, Basic English Bible Translation)

FINDING THE ANSWER

10/17/2011

I mentioned Sunday that our guest speaker, Dr. Randall Price, of World of the Bible Ministries, had a personal library of 26,000 books. I was reminded, as I did, of something God has been speaking to me about.

You see, I recently had a very rewarding experience. I was searching on the “Yahoo! Answers” website for the answer to a question that had somewhat puzzled me. As I did, I came across another question there someone else had asked on an entirely different subject.

That individual had asked about a story that she had read over forty years ago in a grade school reading book. It happened to be the same story I had read, as we had obviously used the same first grade reader. (By the way, the story was titled “Mark Park”, and was in the book, Real and Make Believe, by Harper and Row Basic Reading Program, 1966. Cf. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110501230355AAGgRsw).

Needless to say, the lady searching for this story and book was very happy to get this information, and ultimately to find the answer to the question for which she had been searching for so long.

Obviously, it was also very rewarding for me to be able to help her. It was not that I necessarily knew more than she did. It was just that I was able to direct her to the resource she needed because I too had searched for that same story and book from my own childhood years earlier.

I have reflected much on this little experience. In many ways, it represents one of the roles I play as a pastor – to direct people to the appropriate resources they need. I have a file in my computer’s Outlook program titled: “Answers to Theology Questions”. On a fairly regular basis, I receive e-mails from church members asking me for help with some question they have regarding either the Bible or some given aspect of doctrine.

For my part, I do not necessarily profess to have all the answers. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I do not. Sometimes I may have searched out the same question or issue earlier myself. At other times, however, I am completely stumped by the question, and have to begin the process of searching for an answer myself.

As I work to help people with their questions about the Bible and/or theology, I am reminded that part of what God has blessed me with is the opportunity to have received a formal theological education.

Because of this, very often, I am familiar with the questions I am asked. Often, these same questions were asked by me in my own educational pursuit while I was in seminary. At other times, these questions have been asked of me at some prior point in my ministry.

But even when I am stumped in regard to a given question, at least I know where to turn to begin the process of seeking an answer. I thank God regularly for the Godly teachers He has given me down through the years. And also for all the various books and other resources to which they have directed me. Like many pastors, I have accumulated a rather large theological library over the years – somewhere around 30,000 volumes.

Lately, though, I have come to see my ministerial library as more than just a personal collection of books. I have come to see it as a tool for ministry. The treasury of knowledge contained therein is not intended to be hoarded away; but rather to be used in the service of the Kingdom.

And I have thanked God for both my education and my library, and also rededicated both of them to Him, and asked Him to use them both for His glory and honor. Otherwise, they really serve no purpose.

One last thought. Dr. Price and I were having a meal together and we discussed the fact that one day, somewhere out there in the future, we will each need to find a way responsibly to disperse our respective libraries.

When my time on earth is through and my ministry is complete, this collection of information will invariably be passed on to some other servant or servants of God. I pray even now that God will glorify Himself through these volumes in that day even as He has done through them in my day.

THE AMAZING 8-WATTS

10/13/2011

Most of us remember the story of the little train from our childhood that said, “I think I can!” and climbed the hill. Ever so often, a real life demonstration of that principle comes to light. David Dewitt of United Wesleyan Church in Mt. Orab, Ohio cites a story by Brian Lawson (of ChristianityToday.com) that serves to illustrate this point well. Lawson’s own musings were gleaned form a TIME Magazine article by Leon Jaroff.

In 1972, NASA launched the exploratory space probe Pioneer 10… The satellite’s primary mission was to reach Jupiter, photograph the planet and its moons, and beam data to earth about Jupiter’s magnetic field, radiation belts, and atmosphere.

Scientists regarded this as a bold plan, for at that time no earth satellite had ever gone beyond Mars, and they feared the asteroid belt would destroy the satellite before it could reach its target.

But Pioneer 10 accomplished its mission and much, much more. Swinging past the giant planet in November 1973, Jupiter’s immense gravity hurled Pioneer 10 at a higher rate of speed toward the edge of the solar system.

At one billion miles from the sun, Pioneer 10 passed Saturn. At some two billion miles, it hurtled past Uranus; Neptune at nearly three billion miles; Pluto at almost four billion miles. By 1997, twenty-five years after its launch, Pioneer 10 was more than six billion miles from the sun.

And despite that immense distance, Pioneer 10 continued to beam back radio signals to scientists on Earth. "Perhaps most remarkable," writes Jaroff, "those signals emanate from an 8-watt transmitter, which radiates about as much power as a bedroom night light, and takes more than nine hours to reach Earth."

The Little Satellite That Could was not qualified to do what it did. Engineers designed Pioneer 10 with a useful life of just three years. But it kept going and going. By simple longevity, its tiny 8-watt transmitter radio accomplished more than anyone thought possible.

Dr. Dewitt points out that this is how it is when we offer ourselves to serve the Lord. God can work mightily, even through someone who only has an “8-Watt Ability”. All God asks is that we be faithful and not quit.

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus tells the famed Parable of the Talents. Not everyone can be a five-talent person. Nor can everyone be a two-talent person. In truth, most of us are only one-talent individuals at best. But that does not matter to God. All He asks is that we discover whatever talent (or spiritual gift) that He has given to us, and then faithfully put it (or them) to work for Him.

God can do much through the faithfulness of just one, amazing “8 Watt” Christian.

STAY FOCUSED

10/10/2011

In his book, Developing the Leader Within You, John Maxwell tells the following story attributed to William H. Hinson.

(There is a reason) why animal trainers carry a stool when they go into a cage of lions. They have their whips, of course, and their pistols are at their sides. But invariably they also carry a stool. Hinson says it is the most important tool of the trainer. He holds the stool by the back and thrusts the legs toward the face of the wild animal.

Those who know maintain that the animal tries to focus on all four legs at once. In the attempt to focus on all four, a kind of paralysis overwhelms the animal, and it becomes tame, weak, and disabled because its attention is fragmented.

Amazing! And yet, this makes perfect sense. Not only to you and me. But also to Satan. In an ironic twist of fate, the one whom the Bible calls a prowling lion (I Peter 5:8) has learned to cow us the way a lion tamer does his own quarry.

In our modern lives, he skillfully orchestrates things. We find ourselves with so much coming at us at any given time that we are simply overwhelmed. As a result, the important gets mixed in with the trivial. As it does, those things that ought to really matter get lost in the confusion.

We get so busy. We feel overwhelmed. Thus, we recoil. We back away. And when we do, the things of God suffer in the process.

From this little lesson, I hope you will learn the critical significance of being focused. In truth, some things in life are simply more important than others. This is especially true of spiritual matters. Make certain no to allow the genuinely significant things in life to get crowded out by the insignificant ones.

As D.L. Moody once said, “I’d rather say this one thing I do, than to say these forty things I dabble in!” Above all else, place your priorities on doing what is right by God. All else pails by comparison.

ALL OR NOTHING

10/6/2011

In Romans 12:1-2, the Apostle Paul issues a clear call for commitment from believers when he says, “1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship.

2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)

The word “offer” (“present” in the KJV) is “paristano” in the Koine Greek of the original New Testament. It was the technical term used for “offering a sacrifice”. Under the sacrificial system of the Old Testament, the animal to be sacrificed was committed to the priest, where it was killed, and then it was totally consumed on the altar.

Believers are told that they are to present themselves as “living sacrifices”. Obviously, this implies that there is no such thing as a “partial sacrifice” or a “partial commitment”. In short, it is impossible to be “sort of committed”. You are either committed or you are not committed. It is not possible to be a partial sacrifice to God.

Paul Lee Tan shares the following anecdote. “There is a story told about a pig and a chicken walking down the road together. As they walked along, they read a sign advertising a breakfast to benefit the poor. The chicken said to the pig, “You and I should donate a ham and egg breakfast.” The pig replied, “Not so fast, for you it would just be a contribution, but for me it would be a total commitment.” [Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations. (Rockville, Maryland: Assurance Pub., 1984) # 5211].

The pig clearly understood that it is not possible to offer oneself as a partial sacrifice, neither is it possible to make a partial commitment of oneself to God. To commit ourselves to God means that we are to yield ourselves to Him, surrender to Him, abandon ourselves to Him, entrust ourselves to Him, and place ourselves at His disposal. True commitment is costly. It is total. It is final.

DON’T QUIT!

10/3/2011

“Don't Quit” is a famous poem that was written many years ago. A number of people have claimed authorship of the poem; however, the actual author is unknown. Here is the original poem in its entirety:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

As I shared with the eight men who were installed as Deacons at our church this past Sunday evening, perseverance is one of the greatest keys to completing and fulfilling the ministry God has given to us.

Calvin Coolidge once said: “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”

Jesus certainly understood this. He was up against the biggest problem the human race ever faced: sin. Yet He did not quit. He fulfilled the ministry God the Father gave to Him. Thus, just before He died on the cross for the sins of men and women, He cried out, “It is finished!”

Paul also understood this. That’s why in II Timothy 4:5-8, he said:

5 But you (Timothy), keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. 6 For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure.

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

For my part, I hope that I will be faithful to fulfill the ministry God has given to me. For this reason, like Jesus and like Paul, my motto must be: “I will not quit!”

What about you, today? Do you have a God-given task, ministry, or role? Will you fulfill it? If so, you must not quit! You must persevere. You must finish the race. I hope you will.

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