It’s been cold, Cold, COLD here in Tennessee these last few days. So cold, in fact, that we have gotten down to at or below zero for a couple of nights running. This has been compounded by sleet, snow, freezing rain, ice, and the like, all making for treacherous conditions on roadways, driveways, and parking lots and sidewalks.
Needless to say, schools, churches, government offices, businesses and many other places have all been closed for most of the week. Indeed, many people have gone without electrical power for days on end.
Because psychologists tell us that extended periods of cold winter weather can lead to feelings of depression, I thought I would post something today that is designed to lift everyone’s sprits just a little. So, how cold was it? Well…
It Was So Cold That…
We had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
When I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!
The optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm!
The squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!
I chipped a tooth on my soup!
My dad was wearing golfing gloves on both hands!
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans!
The rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.
We had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.
When we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!
Words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!
The dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running!
We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!
The Husky Association was making emergency service calls to get the dog teams started!
When we parked the sled, we either had to plug in the dogs - or keep them running in place!*
If you live in the Eastern United States, you may appreciate these. In any event, I hope they helped to brighten your day somewhat. In the meantime, stay warm. And remember a couple of passages from God’s Word:
The first is from Genesis 8:22:
“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”
This is God’s promise that Winter will always follow Fall, and that Spring will always follow Winter.
The second is form Isaiah 55: 9-13:
9“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. 13Instead of the thorn bush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever.”
This is God’s promise that even the bleakness of Winter has its purpose. He uses the snow to prepare this old earth for its renewal in the Spring. So, as cold as it is, and as big a hassle as Winter can seem to be, just remember that even now the Lord is preparing to do something wonderful here in just a few short weeks!
In other words, this bitter cold will surely pass! The weather will get better. And so will the world, as it emerges from this difficult period. More importantly, what God can do in nature, He can and will do in a person's life.
So, if it is currently a bleak time in your life, take heart, my friend. For even now, God desires to achieve His purpose in your life; and no doubt, He is working to that end. Trust Him, and in due time, He will surely replenish your life in beautiful and wonderful ways!
SOURCE: *These were all taken from a collection found at: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/weatherjokes/winterjokes.html.
Also, the following link literally has over 400 (sixteen pages) of these silly one-liners: http://www.athropolis.com/jokes3.htm.
Scripture source: http://biblehub.com/niv/isaiah/55.htm.
Needless to say, schools, churches, government offices, businesses and many other places have all been closed for most of the week. Indeed, many people have gone without electrical power for days on end.
Because psychologists tell us that extended periods of cold winter weather can lead to feelings of depression, I thought I would post something today that is designed to lift everyone’s sprits just a little. So, how cold was it? Well…
It Was So Cold That…
We had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
When I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!
The optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm!
The squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!
I chipped a tooth on my soup!
My dad was wearing golfing gloves on both hands!
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans!
The rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.
We had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.
When we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!
Words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!
The dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running!
We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!
The Husky Association was making emergency service calls to get the dog teams started!
When we parked the sled, we either had to plug in the dogs - or keep them running in place!*
If you live in the Eastern United States, you may appreciate these. In any event, I hope they helped to brighten your day somewhat. In the meantime, stay warm. And remember a couple of passages from God’s Word:
The first is from Genesis 8:22:
“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”
This is God’s promise that Winter will always follow Fall, and that Spring will always follow Winter.
The second is form Isaiah 55: 9-13:
9“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. 13Instead of the thorn bush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever.”
This is God’s promise that even the bleakness of Winter has its purpose. He uses the snow to prepare this old earth for its renewal in the Spring. So, as cold as it is, and as big a hassle as Winter can seem to be, just remember that even now the Lord is preparing to do something wonderful here in just a few short weeks!
In other words, this bitter cold will surely pass! The weather will get better. And so will the world, as it emerges from this difficult period. More importantly, what God can do in nature, He can and will do in a person's life.
So, if it is currently a bleak time in your life, take heart, my friend. For even now, God desires to achieve His purpose in your life; and no doubt, He is working to that end. Trust Him, and in due time, He will surely replenish your life in beautiful and wonderful ways!
SOURCE: *These were all taken from a collection found at: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/weatherjokes/winterjokes.html.
Also, the following link literally has over 400 (sixteen pages) of these silly one-liners: http://www.athropolis.com/jokes3.htm.
Scripture source: http://biblehub.com/niv/isaiah/55.htm.