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"Helping Others Communicate"

STATING THE OBVIOUS

8/14/2014

 
Marc and Angel Chernoff describe themselves as “passionate writers, admirers of the human spirit, and full time students of life”.  Together, they run a web site titled “Marc and Angel Hack Life: Practical tips for Productive Living” in which they share inspirational advice and practical tips for daily living.   

This unique and inspirational site contains over 600 articles on happiness, productivity, emotional intelligence, relationships, and general self-improvement.  Little wonder then that it has drawn more than 100 million page views and more than 112 thousand subscribers since it was first founded back in 2006.

Their stated goal is simply to help their readers
“think better, feel better, and live better”.  To accomplish this, they attempt to write and post three “fresh and insightful personal development articles” every week. They also make the following statement:
“We promise you will not find a regurgitation of someone else’s point of view on our site.  Regardless of the topic at hand, these views are our own.”

Having spent time perusing their site, I can attest to its value. And I wholeheartedly recommend their body of work.  
Today, I wanted to re-post one of their many pieces.  It is one that I have found especially meaningful.  Located on their web site, it is titled...
 
"
10 PAINFULLY OBVIOUS TRUTHS EVERYONE FORGETS TOO  SOON" 

You know how you can hear something a hundred times in a hundred different ways before it finally gets through to you?  The ten truths listed below fall firmly into that category – life lessons that many of us likely learned years ago, and have been reminded of ever since, but for whatever reason, haven’t fully grasped.


This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…

1.  The average human life is relatively short.

We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know.  It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step.  You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is.

LIVE your life TODAY!  Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of it either.  Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action. Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive.  Be bold.  Be courageous.  Be scared to death, and then take the next step anyway.

2.  You will only ever live the life you create for yourself.

Your life is yours alone.  Others can try to persuade you, but they can’t decide for you.  They can walk with you, but not in your shoes.  So make sure the path you decide to walk aligns with your own intuition and desires, and don’t be scared to switch paths or pave a new one when it makes sense.

Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t.  Be productive and patient. And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a  good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.  This is your life, and it is made up entirely of your choices.  May your actions speak louder than your words.  May your life preach louder than your lips.  May your success be your noise in the end.

And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it.  Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land, be brave enough to step up to the edge of the unknown, and listen to your heart.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)*

3.  Being busy does NOT mean being productive.

Busyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to  respect. Though we all have seasons of crazy schedules, very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy ALL the time. We simply don’t know how to live within our means, prioritize properly, and say no when we should.

Being busy rarely equates to productivity these days.  Just take a quick look around.  Busy people outnumber productive people by a wide margin. Busy people are rushing all over the place, and running late half of the time. They’re heading to work, conferences, meetings, social engagements, etc. They barely have enough free time for  family get-togethers and they rarely get enough sleep.  Yet, emails are shooting out of their smart phones like machine gun bullets, and their day planners are jammed to the brim with obligations.  Their busy schedule gives them an elevated sense of importance.  But it’s all an illusion.  They’re like hamsters running on a wheel.

Though being busy can make us feel more alive than anything else for a moment, the sensation is not sustainable long term.  We will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on our deathbed, come to wish that we spent less time in the buzz of busyness and more time actually living a purposeful life.

4.  Some kind of failure always occurs before success.

Most mistakes are unavoidable.  Learn to forgive yourself. It’s not a problem to make them.  It’s only a problem if you never learn from them.

If you’re too afraid of failure, you can’t  possibly do what needs to be done to be successful.  The solution to this problem is making friends with failure. You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner? The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.  Behind every great piece of art is a thousand failed attempts to make it, but these attempts are simply never shown to us.

Bottom line:  Just because it’s not happening now, doesn’t mean it never will. Sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. (Read The Success Principles.)

5.  Thinking and doing are two very different things.

Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it.

You are what you do, not what you say you’ll  do.  Knowledge is basically useless without action.  Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals.  Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer.

And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.

6.  You don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive.

Life gets much easier when you learn to accept all  the apologies you never got.  The key is to be thankful for every experience – positive or negative.  It’s taking a step back and saying, “Thank you for the lesson.”  It’s realizing that grudges from the past are a perfect waste of today’s happiness, and that holding one is like letting unwanted company live rent free in your head.

Forgiveness is a promise – one you want to  keep.  When you forgive someone you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against your present self.  It has nothing to do with freeing a criminal of his or her crime, and everything to do with freeing yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim.

7.  Some people are simply the wrong match for you.

You will only ever be as great as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who keep bringing you down.  You shouldn’t force connections with people who constantly make you feel less than amazing.

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure every time you’re with them, for whatever reason, they’re probably not close friend material.  If they make you feel like you can’t be yourself, or if they make you “less than” in any
way, don’t pursue a connection with them.  If you feel emotionally drained after hanging out with them or get a small hit of anxiety when you are reminded of them, listen to your intuition.  There are so many “right people” for you, who energize you and inspire you to be your best self.  It makes no sense to force it with people who are the wrong match for you.


8.  It’s not other people’s job to love you; it’s yours.

It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even  more important to be nice to yourself.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. So make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you.  Know your worth, even if they don’t.

Today, let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as incomplete as you think you are.  Yes, let someone love you despite all of this, and let that someone be YOU.  (Read Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.)


9.  What you own is not who YOU are.

Stuff really is just stuff, and it has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person.  Most of us can make do with much less than we think we need. That’s a valuable reminder, especially in a hugely consumer-driven culture that focuses more on material things than meaningful connections and experiences.

You have to create your own culture.  Don’t watch TV, don’t read every fashion magazine, and don’t consume too  much of the evening news.  Find the strength to fill your time with meaningful experiences.  The space and time you are occupying at this very moment is LIFE, and if  you’re worrying about Kim Kardashian or Lebron James or some other famous face, then you are disempowered.  You’re giving your life away to marketing and media trickery, which is created by big companies to ultimately motivate you to want to dress a certain way, look a certain way, and be a certain way.  This is tragic, this kind of thinking.  It’s all just Hollywood  brainwashing.  What is real is YOU and your friends and your family, your loves, your highs, your hopes, your plans, your fears, etc.

Too often we’re told that we’re not important, we’re just peripheral to what is.  “Get a degree, get a job, get a car, get a house, and keep on getting.” And it’s sad, because someday you’ll wake up and realize you’ve been tricked. And all you’ll want then is to reclaim your mind by getting it out of the  hands of the brainwashers who want to turn you into a drone that buys everything that isn’t needed to impress everyone that isn’t important.

10.  Everything changes, every second.

Embrace change and realize it happens for a  reason.  It won’t always be obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow.  You never know.  Things change, often spontaneously.  People and circumstances come and go.  Life doesn’t stop for anybody.  It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like  this to people every day.  It’s likely happening to someone nearby right now.

Sometimes the shortest split second in time  changes the direction of our lives.  A seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking Earth.  Entire lives have  been swiveled and flipped upside down, for better or worse, on the strength of an unpredictable event.  And these events are always happening.

However good or bad a situation is now, it will  change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.  So when life is good, enjoy it.  Don’t go looking for something better every second.  Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they have while they have it.

(*NOTE:  The items in parentheses reference other items the authors have written and which are available on their web page.)


This excellent challenge (and many similar ones)  are available online at:  http://www.marcandangel.com/
.  Surf on over there today and spend a few minutes reading.  It will be well worth your time!  And while there, be sure to check out their new book titled  1,000+ Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently, as well as their free subscription e-mail service, which is designed to bring a little encouragement in to your life each day.  They also have links listed for Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, and Instagram.

A short sampling of their huge archive of blog posts includes the
following titles: 
30 Things to Start Doing for  Yourself
6 Things Happy People Never Do
9 Warning Signs You’re in Bad Company
10 Little Habits that Steal Your Happiness
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships
12 Things Successful People Do Differently
50 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do
10 Choices You Will Regret in 10 Years
8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong
30 Challenges for 30 Days of Growth
7 Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People
10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go
5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships
10 Simple Truths Smart People Forget
12 Things Happy People Do Differently
50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind
30 Books Everyone Should Read Before Their 30th Birthday
18 Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was 18 
7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others
12 Dozen Places To Educate Yourself Online For Free
10 Habits You Must Quit to Be Happy, 
and, one we all probably need to read from time to time, titled...
19 Signs You’re Doing Better than You Think.

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    Cleo E. Jackson, III

    Occasionally I will add
    a few thoughts to my blog. If you find them inspirational, I will be
    honored.

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