Technically, the night before "All Saints Day", which falls annually on November 1st, is called "All Hallows’ Eve". While "Halloween", as it is more commonly known, is over two months away, given that former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee was not far off when he noted that most football fans here within the Southeastern Conference esteem football as something akin to religion, tonight might be seen as a sacred night.
This is because the long awaited opening day of this year’s college football season is tomorrow. Even now, excitement is brewing. And by this time tomorrow night, emotions will be running quite high. Therefore, I thought I would take a moment to interject a little levity before all the tensions associated with the game of football begin.
For no matter how week one’s box scores eventually read, someone is sure to need a little cheering up before it’s all over. With these things in mind, I share the following football story popularized by Paul W. Powell. It seems that…
A substitute quarterback was sitting on the bench while the game was going on. The coach called him and said, “We are losing this ball game through stupid quarterbacking. I want you to go in there and do exactly what I tell you, understand?” The substitute quarterback said, “Yes, sir!”
The coach said, “On the first play you take the ball yourself on the left-hand sweep. You’re going to be new in there and they’re not going to be looking for you.” He said, “All right, coach.” The coach said, “On the second play, you take the ball again, run a slant play right over the left tackle, you understand?” He said, “Yes, coach.”
“On the third play,” the coach said, “I want you to make a long pass to Hank Miller, you understand?” He said, “Yes, sir!” The coach said, “And on the fourth play, kick!”
The substitute quarterback went in and did exactly what the coach said. On the first play he went around that left end and the coach was right. They weren’t looking for him and he picked up twenty yards. On the second play he did what the coach said again. This time he went over that left tackle on a slant play and a hole opened up and he cut back and picked up fifteen more yards.
The third play was that long pass to Hank Miller, and it was a dinger! Fifteen yards in the air and old Hank snagged it and ran twelve more before they got him down. He was at the three-yard line, with ten seconds to go.
On the fourth play, the substitute quarterback dutifully kicked the ball the way the coach said, and it went clear out of the stadium. The coach, of course, was livid. When the quarterback came back to the bench, the coach grabbed him by the shoulder pads and said, “Son, what were you thinking out there?” He replied, “Well, to be completely honest, I was thinking what a stupid coach we have!”
By this time tomorrow night, many football fans will be happy and thinking just how smart there coach is. Others will be sad and beginning to question just how much smarts there coach actually has! For my part, I hope my favorite team has a really smart coach. I’m just hoping for a few smart players as well!
SOURCE: Powell, Paul. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Retirement (Dallas: Texas Baptist Leadership Center, 2000), pp. 111-112. Available online at: https://www.baylor.edu/content/services/document.php?id=146507.
This is because the long awaited opening day of this year’s college football season is tomorrow. Even now, excitement is brewing. And by this time tomorrow night, emotions will be running quite high. Therefore, I thought I would take a moment to interject a little levity before all the tensions associated with the game of football begin.
For no matter how week one’s box scores eventually read, someone is sure to need a little cheering up before it’s all over. With these things in mind, I share the following football story popularized by Paul W. Powell. It seems that…
A substitute quarterback was sitting on the bench while the game was going on. The coach called him and said, “We are losing this ball game through stupid quarterbacking. I want you to go in there and do exactly what I tell you, understand?” The substitute quarterback said, “Yes, sir!”
The coach said, “On the first play you take the ball yourself on the left-hand sweep. You’re going to be new in there and they’re not going to be looking for you.” He said, “All right, coach.” The coach said, “On the second play, you take the ball again, run a slant play right over the left tackle, you understand?” He said, “Yes, coach.”
“On the third play,” the coach said, “I want you to make a long pass to Hank Miller, you understand?” He said, “Yes, sir!” The coach said, “And on the fourth play, kick!”
The substitute quarterback went in and did exactly what the coach said. On the first play he went around that left end and the coach was right. They weren’t looking for him and he picked up twenty yards. On the second play he did what the coach said again. This time he went over that left tackle on a slant play and a hole opened up and he cut back and picked up fifteen more yards.
The third play was that long pass to Hank Miller, and it was a dinger! Fifteen yards in the air and old Hank snagged it and ran twelve more before they got him down. He was at the three-yard line, with ten seconds to go.
On the fourth play, the substitute quarterback dutifully kicked the ball the way the coach said, and it went clear out of the stadium. The coach, of course, was livid. When the quarterback came back to the bench, the coach grabbed him by the shoulder pads and said, “Son, what were you thinking out there?” He replied, “Well, to be completely honest, I was thinking what a stupid coach we have!”
By this time tomorrow night, many football fans will be happy and thinking just how smart there coach is. Others will be sad and beginning to question just how much smarts there coach actually has! For my part, I hope my favorite team has a really smart coach. I’m just hoping for a few smart players as well!
SOURCE: Powell, Paul. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Retirement (Dallas: Texas Baptist Leadership Center, 2000), pp. 111-112. Available online at: https://www.baylor.edu/content/services/document.php?id=146507.