Well, we have almost come to the end of the second week of this new year. That, of course, begs a question. How are you coming with those infamous new year’s resolutions? Hopefully, a little better than the poor guy below.
After seven years, he appears to have been fairly unsuccessful in living up to any of his attempted resolutions. You might want to pay special attention to the last one. It has particular relevance for us all…
RESOLUTION #1:
2007: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2008: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2009: I will read 5 books a year.
2010: I will finally finish The Pelican Brief.
2011: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2012: I will read at least one article this year.
2013: I will try and finish the comics section this year.
RESOLUTION #2:
2007: I will get my weight down below 180.
2008: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2009: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2010: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2011: I will work out 5 days a week.
2012: I will work out 3 days a week.
2013: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
RESOLUTION #3:
2007: I will brush my teeth after every meal.
2008: I will brush my teeth once a day.
2009: I will I will brush my teeth once a month.
2010: I will see my dentist this year.
2011: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2012: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2013: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.
RESOLUTION #4:
2007: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2008: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2009: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2010: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2011.
2011: I will be totally out of debt by 2012.
2012: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2013.
2013: I will try to be out of the country by 2014.
RESOLUTION #5:
2007: I will enjoy my job and be a productive employee.
2008: I will be a team player at work.
2009: I will be more assertive with my coworkers.
2010: I will not let my boss push me around.
2011: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2012: I will stick up for my rights and contact HR when my boss bullies me.
2013: I will tell Dr. Newhart and the group about my boss.
RESOLUTION #6:
2007: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
2008: I will not leave Marge.
2009: I will try for reconciliation with Marge.
2010: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.
2011: I will not leave Wanda.
2012: I will try for reconciliation with Wanda.
2013: I will stop looking at other women.
RESOLUTION #7:
2007: I will get serious about my relationship with God.
2008: I will begin reading my Bible every day.
2009: I will participate in all the church has to offer.
2010: I will try to at least get to worship every Sunday.
2011: I will try to go to church as often as my schedule permits.
2012: I will try to set aside a little time each day for a prayer.
2013: I will try to catch my favorite TV preacher every so often.
It has been said that a goal is a dream with a deadline. Study after study tends to indicate that people who are the most successful in their chosen endeavors are invariably goal setters.
As 2013 continues to unfold, what are your goals? Have you articulated them? Written them down? Are any of them spiritual? Should they be? Are you any closer after two weeks to attaining any of them? Why or why not? What can be done about this? What should be done about this?
SOURCE: This particular item is based on a piece I originally found at http://www.ahajokes.com/fp059.html. I took the liberty of editing it somewhat from the form in which it occurs there.
After seven years, he appears to have been fairly unsuccessful in living up to any of his attempted resolutions. You might want to pay special attention to the last one. It has particular relevance for us all…
RESOLUTION #1:
2007: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2008: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2009: I will read 5 books a year.
2010: I will finally finish The Pelican Brief.
2011: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2012: I will read at least one article this year.
2013: I will try and finish the comics section this year.
RESOLUTION #2:
2007: I will get my weight down below 180.
2008: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2009: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2010: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2011: I will work out 5 days a week.
2012: I will work out 3 days a week.
2013: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
RESOLUTION #3:
2007: I will brush my teeth after every meal.
2008: I will brush my teeth once a day.
2009: I will I will brush my teeth once a month.
2010: I will see my dentist this year.
2011: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2012: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2013: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.
RESOLUTION #4:
2007: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2008: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2009: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2010: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2011.
2011: I will be totally out of debt by 2012.
2012: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2013.
2013: I will try to be out of the country by 2014.
RESOLUTION #5:
2007: I will enjoy my job and be a productive employee.
2008: I will be a team player at work.
2009: I will be more assertive with my coworkers.
2010: I will not let my boss push me around.
2011: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2012: I will stick up for my rights and contact HR when my boss bullies me.
2013: I will tell Dr. Newhart and the group about my boss.
RESOLUTION #6:
2007: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
2008: I will not leave Marge.
2009: I will try for reconciliation with Marge.
2010: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.
2011: I will not leave Wanda.
2012: I will try for reconciliation with Wanda.
2013: I will stop looking at other women.
RESOLUTION #7:
2007: I will get serious about my relationship with God.
2008: I will begin reading my Bible every day.
2009: I will participate in all the church has to offer.
2010: I will try to at least get to worship every Sunday.
2011: I will try to go to church as often as my schedule permits.
2012: I will try to set aside a little time each day for a prayer.
2013: I will try to catch my favorite TV preacher every so often.
It has been said that a goal is a dream with a deadline. Study after study tends to indicate that people who are the most successful in their chosen endeavors are invariably goal setters.
As 2013 continues to unfold, what are your goals? Have you articulated them? Written them down? Are any of them spiritual? Should they be? Are you any closer after two weeks to attaining any of them? Why or why not? What can be done about this? What should be done about this?
SOURCE: This particular item is based on a piece I originally found at http://www.ahajokes.com/fp059.html. I took the liberty of editing it somewhat from the form in which it occurs there.