CLEOEJACKSONIII.COM
  • My Home Page
  • My Life and Ministry
  • My Ongoing Thoughts
  • My Favorite Bible Verses
  • My Favorite Stories
  • My Favorite Jokes
  • My Favorite Quotations
  • My Favorite Web Links
  • My Contact Info
"Helping Others Communicate"

PET DIARY EXCERPTS

10/12/2010

 
This week, I thought I would share a little humor.  My wife was out of town this past weekend visiting our kids at college.  That left me in charge of Diesel, our black Labrador Retriever dog, and Rudy, our Turkish Angora mixed cat.  The two of them are entertaining to say the least.  They each have their own personality.  It is also truly amazing to see just how different they are.   

Whether you are a pet owner or not, you will probably appreciate the following (fictional) excerpts from the diary of two such pets.  (I first found this in the June, 2002 edition of the Smoky Mountain Mensa Newsletter, Volume 25, Number 6.)  Enjoy these...

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY

Day Number 180
8:00 AM -        OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM -        OH BOY!  A CAR RIDE!  MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM -        OH BOY!  A WALK!  MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM -      OH BOY!  A CAR RIDE!  MY FAVORITE
11:30 AM -      OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
NOON -           OH BOY!  THE KIDS!  MY FAVORITE
1:00 PM -        OH BOY!  THE YARD!  MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM -        OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM -        OH BOY!  MOM!  MY FAVORITE!

Day Number 181
8:00 AM -        OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM -        OH BOY!  A CAR RIDE!  MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM -        OH BOY!  A WALK!  MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM -      OH BOY!  A CAR RIDE!  MY FAVORITE!
11:30 AM -      OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
NOON-            OH BOY!  THE KIDS!  MY FAVORITE
1:00 PM -        OH BOY!  THE YARD!  MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM -        OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM -        OH BOY!  MOM!  MY FAVORITE!

Day Number 182
8:00 AM -        OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM -        OH BOY!  A CAR RIDE!  MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM -        OH BOY!  A WALK!  MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM -      OH BOY!  A CAR RIDE!  MY FAVORITE!
11:30 AM -      OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
NOON -           OH BOY!  THE KIDS!  MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM -        OH BOY!  THE YARD!  MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM -        o00000o....bath....bummer.
4:00 PM -        OH BOY!  DOG FOOD!  MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM -        OH BOY!  MOM!  MY FAVORITE! 

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.  The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.  I must try this at the top of the stairs.  In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...  I must try this in their bed.

DAY 765 - I decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.  They only cooed and condescended about what a good cat I was.  Hmmm.  Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason, I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo".  What sick minds could invent such a liquid.  My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.  I was placed in solitary throughout the event.  However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the things they were consuming.  More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies."  I must learn what this is, and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may in fact be snitches.  The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.  He is obviously a half-wit.  The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly.  I am certain he reports my every move.  Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.  But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Comments are closed.

    Cleo E. Jackson, III

    Occasionally I will add
    a few thoughts to my blog. If you find them inspirational, I will be
    honored.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010

    Categories

    All