"It's football time here in east Tennessee!" It seems as if everyone is busy rooting for their favorite Southeastern Conference team. For the most part, we are also busy belittling the opposing schools and their respective coaches and/or players – whether in conference or out.
Of course, football players themselves are more often known for their brawns than for their brains. Consider the following collection I came upon recently…
Louisiana State University’s Les Miles recently said of one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
Why do University of Tennessee players wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, then go hunting on Sunday, and return to picking up trash on Monday.
What does the average University of Alabama player get on his SATs? Mostly Drool.
How many Mississippi State University freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a sophomore course.
How did the Auburn University football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.
Two University of Arkansas football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
A University of Florida football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
What do you say to a University of Tennessee football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise?"
If three Texas A&M University football players are in the same car, who is most likely doing the driving? The police officer.
How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend? There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
What do you get when you put 32 University of South Carolina cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.
The University of Mississippi Football coach announced that he will dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
How is the University of Missouri football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Why did the Vanderbilt University linebacker steal a police car? He saw 911 on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
How do you get a former University of Alabama football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football players life? His time as a freshman.
In truth, the Southeastern Conference has produced a lot more than just dumb jocks. (Just compare the number of Academic All-Americans.) As anyone who has applied well knows, both the academic standards and achievements at these schools are quite high. Courses of study at any one of the member schools of the SEC is rigorous to say the least. This means that being a student athlete and maintaining one’s grades is quite an accomplishment in and of itself.
Each fall at our church, we take time to recognize our own local student athletes. This past Sunday morning, we were blessed to have with us representatives from several school athletic programs in our area, as well as student athletes from numerous sports – including football, soccer, volleyball, track, golf, and cheerleading. We hope to follow this up in January with recognition of those involved in winter and spring sports such as basketball and track.
Obviously, we are proud of all of our students. Each one is unique and important to God. But we specifically recognize those students who apply themselves by participating in extracurricular activities and athletic pursuits. We do this because we believe that these pursuits help to contribute to their overall development. It teaches them valuable lessons which will benefit them all throughout their lives.
Of course, it will also be important for them to apply themselves in the classroom as well. Lessons learned there are equally, if not even more, significant. All jokes involving dumb jocks notwithstanding, we are proud of all of our student athletes. We wish them the very best as they glorify God by making the most of the talents He has given them each and every day.
For as the Apostle Paul says (I Timothy 4:8): “…bodily training is of some value, (but) godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”
And thus, Paul also states (Colossians 3:23-24): “Whatever you do (therefore), work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. (For) you are serving the Lord Christ.”
Not bad advice – for all of us, whether we be athletes or not.
JOKE SOURCE: This is based on a collection of college football jokes that I found at: http://nj1015.com/some-funny-jokes-to-get-you-in-the-spirit-of-college-football/. I slightly reworked it for SEC purposes; although I do not know why the finished product contained no references to any University of Georgia football players! ;-)
SCRIPTURE SOURCE: “Bible Verses for Athletes: 20 Motivational Scriptures” by Daryl Evans. One of many useful collections found at: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-for-athletes-20-motivational-scriptures/.
Of course, football players themselves are more often known for their brawns than for their brains. Consider the following collection I came upon recently…
Louisiana State University’s Les Miles recently said of one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
Why do University of Tennessee players wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, then go hunting on Sunday, and return to picking up trash on Monday.
What does the average University of Alabama player get on his SATs? Mostly Drool.
How many Mississippi State University freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a sophomore course.
How did the Auburn University football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.
Two University of Arkansas football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
A University of Florida football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
What do you say to a University of Tennessee football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise?"
If three Texas A&M University football players are in the same car, who is most likely doing the driving? The police officer.
How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend? There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
What do you get when you put 32 University of South Carolina cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.
The University of Mississippi Football coach announced that he will dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
How is the University of Missouri football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Why did the Vanderbilt University linebacker steal a police car? He saw 911 on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
How do you get a former University of Alabama football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football players life? His time as a freshman.
In truth, the Southeastern Conference has produced a lot more than just dumb jocks. (Just compare the number of Academic All-Americans.) As anyone who has applied well knows, both the academic standards and achievements at these schools are quite high. Courses of study at any one of the member schools of the SEC is rigorous to say the least. This means that being a student athlete and maintaining one’s grades is quite an accomplishment in and of itself.
Each fall at our church, we take time to recognize our own local student athletes. This past Sunday morning, we were blessed to have with us representatives from several school athletic programs in our area, as well as student athletes from numerous sports – including football, soccer, volleyball, track, golf, and cheerleading. We hope to follow this up in January with recognition of those involved in winter and spring sports such as basketball and track.
Obviously, we are proud of all of our students. Each one is unique and important to God. But we specifically recognize those students who apply themselves by participating in extracurricular activities and athletic pursuits. We do this because we believe that these pursuits help to contribute to their overall development. It teaches them valuable lessons which will benefit them all throughout their lives.
Of course, it will also be important for them to apply themselves in the classroom as well. Lessons learned there are equally, if not even more, significant. All jokes involving dumb jocks notwithstanding, we are proud of all of our student athletes. We wish them the very best as they glorify God by making the most of the talents He has given them each and every day.
For as the Apostle Paul says (I Timothy 4:8): “…bodily training is of some value, (but) godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”
And thus, Paul also states (Colossians 3:23-24): “Whatever you do (therefore), work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. (For) you are serving the Lord Christ.”
Not bad advice – for all of us, whether we be athletes or not.
JOKE SOURCE: This is based on a collection of college football jokes that I found at: http://nj1015.com/some-funny-jokes-to-get-you-in-the-spirit-of-college-football/. I slightly reworked it for SEC purposes; although I do not know why the finished product contained no references to any University of Georgia football players! ;-)
SCRIPTURE SOURCE: “Bible Verses for Athletes: 20 Motivational Scriptures” by Daryl Evans. One of many useful collections found at: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-for-athletes-20-motivational-scriptures/.