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"Helping Others Communicate"

IF I WERE THE DEVIL

4/1/2012

 
When I was a younger man, one of the highlights of my day was listening to legendary broadcaster Paul Harvey (1918-2009) each day at lunch.  He would report the latest national and international news and often add running commentary. 

He was extremely popular, known best for his broadcast titled News and Comment, that aired in an abbreviated version on weekday mornings and in full at mid-days, and again at noon on Saturdays.  He also had a popular program called The Rest of the Story.  The latter programs, consisting of short, often surprising segments of historical trivia, were later collected and sold in two very popular books. 

At his peak, he was heard on 1,200 radio stations and 400 Armed Forces Network stations, and also carried in 300 newspapers.  In fact, we are told that his broadcasts and newspaper columns have been reprinted in the Congressional Record more than those of any other commentator.  An estimated 24 million people a week tuned in for his broadcasts.

Only a few of his thousands of recordings are available online today.  I hope the time will come when they will all be posted. In the meantime, at least Paul Harvey's books are still available.  A quick online search will reveal where these can be acquired.

Today, I thought I would post one of his more notable broadcasts.  This particular speech, found at Fox News' "Fox Nation" web site, was purportedly first broadcast on ABC Radio by Paul Harvey back on April 3, 1965:

If I were the Devil . . . I mean, if I were the Prince of Darkness, I would of course, want to engulf the whole earth in darkness. I would have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree, so I should set about however necessary to take over the United States.

I would begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: “Do as you please.” “Do as you please.”   To the young, I would whisper, “The Bible is a myth.” I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I would confide that what is bad is good, and what is good is “square”.  In the ears of the young marrieds, I would whisper that work is debasing, that cocktail parties are good for you. I would caution them not to be extreme in religion, in patriotism, in moral conduct. And the old, I would teach to pray. I would teach them to say after me: “Our Father, which art in Washington” . . .

If I were the devil, I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I’d threaten T.V. with dirtier movies and vice versa. And then, if I were the devil, I’d get organized. I’d infiltrate unions and urge more loafing and less work, because idle hands usually work for me. I’d peddle narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. And I’d tranquilize the rest with pills. If I were the devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellects but neglect to discipline emotions . . . let those run wild.

I would designate an atheist to front for me before the highest courts in the land and I would get preachers to say “she’s right.” With flattery and promises of power, I could get the courts to rule what I construe as against God and in favor of pornography, and  thus, I would evict God from the courthouse, and then from the school house, and then from the houses of Congress and then, in His own churches I would substitute psychology for religion, and I would deify science because that way men would become smart enough to create super weapons but not wise enough to control them.

If I were Satan, I’d make the symbol of Easter an egg, and the symbol of Christmas, a bottle. If  I were the devil, I would take from those who have and I would give to those who wanted, until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. And then, my police state would force everybody back to work. Then, I could separate families, putting children in uniform, women in coal mines, and objectors in slave camps. In other words, if I were Satan, I’d just keep on doing what he’s doing.

Paul Harvey, Good Day.

How prophetic!  How true!  How sad!

Source:  The immediate source for this piece is an article posted at Fox News' "Fox Nation" web site.  It can be found here: ht
tp://nation.foxnews.com/paul-harvey/2012/03/21/1965-if-i-w
ere-devil-warning-nation-paul-harvey
.  Having followed this link, one might soon note that the printed version and the audio version available on this particular web site differ slightly.

Thus, it is apparent that there is discrepancy over which of the many versions is correct.  Or, if they are differing versions of the same piece, which one came first?   An article on this matter at www.snopes.com shows that there were in fact different versions.  It then tracks them from the original 1964 print version to the popular email version circulating today, noting the many ongoing changes along the way. This article is online at http://snopes.com/politics/soapbox/devil.asp.

Note:  A 1990's version is also available on YouTube.  This one also contains Paul Harvey's actual voice recording.  It can be found at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Az0okaHig.  This one also matches Harvey's 1996 newspaper version word for word: 

If I were the prince of darkness, I would want to engulf the whole world in  darkness.

I'd have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its  population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the  tree — thee.

So, I would set about however necessary to take over the  United States.

I'd subvert the churches first, and I would begin with a  campaign of whispers.

With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to  you as I whispered to Eve: "Do as you please."

To the young, I would  whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would convince the children that man created  God instead of the other way around. I'd confide that what's bad is good and  what's good is square.

And the old, I would teach to pray after me,  "Our Father, which are in Washington ..."

Then, I'd get organized, I'd  educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else  would appear dull and uninteresting.

I'd peddle narcotics to whom I  could. I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of
distinction. I'd tranquilize  the rest with pills.

If I were the devil, I'd soon have families at war  with themselves, churches at war with themselves and nations at war with  themselves until each, in its turn, was consumed. 
 
And with promises of  higher ratings, I'd have mesmerizing media fanning the flames.

If I  were the devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellect but neglect  to discipline emotions. I'd tell teachers to let those students run wild. And  before you knew it, you'd have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every  schoolhouse door.

Within a decade, I'd  have prisons overflowing and  judges promoting pornography. Soon, I would evict God from the courthouse and  the schoolhouse and them from the houses of Congress.

In his own  churches, I would substitute psychology for religion and deify science. I'd lure  priests and pastors into misusing boys and  girls and church money.

If I  were the devil, I'd take from those who  have and give to those who wanted until  I had killed the incentive of the ambitious.

What'll you bet I couldn't  get whole states to promote gambling as the way to get rich?

I'd  convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that swinging is more fun and  that what you see on television is the way to be.

And thus, I could  undress you in public and lure you into bed with diseases for which there are no  cures.

In other words, if I were the devil, I'd just keep right on  doing what he's doing
.

And even this 1990's version  differs  slightly from the original 1964 newspaper article as written by Harvey.  That 1964 version reads as follows:  

If I were the Prince of Darkness I would want  to  engulf the whole earth in darkness.

I'd have a third of its real  estate  and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had  seized  the ripest apple on the tree.

So I should set about however necessary,  to take over the United States.

I would begin with a campaign of  whispers.  

With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whispers  to you as I  whispered to Eve, "Do as you please."

To the young I would whisper "The  Bible is a myth." I would convince them that "man created God," instead of the  other way around. I would confide that "what is bad is good and what is good is  square."

In the ears of the young married I would  whisper that work is  debasing, that cocktail parties are good for you.  I would caution them not to  be "extreme" in religion, in patriotism, in moral conduct. 
 
And the old  I would teach to pray — to say after me — "Our father  which are in Washington." 

Then I'd get organized.

I'd educate authors in how to make  lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull,  uninteresting.

I'd threaten TV with dirtier movies, and vice-versa. 

I'd infiltrate unions and urge more loafing, less work.  Idle hands usually work for me.

I'd peddle narcotics to whom I could, I'd sell  alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction, I'd tranquilize the rest with  pills.

If I were the Devil, I would encourage schools to refine young  intellects, but neglect to discipline emotions; let those run wild.

I'd  designate an atheist to front for me before the highest courts and I'd get  preachers to say, "She's right."

With flattery and promises of power I  would get the courts to vote against God and in favor of pornography.  

Thus I would evict God from the courthouse, then from the schoolhouse, then  from the Houses of Congress.

Then in his own churches I'd substitute  psychology for religion and deify science.

If I were Satan I'd make the  symbol of Easter an egg.  And the symbol of Christmas a bottle.

If I were the Devil I'd take from those who have and give to those who wanted  until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious.  Then my police state would  force everybody back to work.

Then I would separate families, putting  children in uniform, women in coal mines and objectors in slave-labor camps. 

If I were Satan I'd just keep doing what I'm doing and the whole world  go to hell as sure as the Devil. 


Now, at this point, two things are obvious.  First, I have most probably given you far more information than most of you care to have.  But I do try to be thorough in sourcing material.

Second, Paul Harvey obviously is the author of this piece.  It seems that he first wrote it back in 1964; and that he then tweaked it, perhaps more than once, over the next three or four decades of his life, each time in response to the changing times and issues faced by our nation. 

And that was certainly his prerogative. After all, he was the author and he controlled the rights.

Lastly, a few episodes of Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story" can be found online at:  http://matineeclassics.com/radio/1976/
paul_harvey_the_rest_of_the_story/
.  Enjoy!

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    Cleo E. Jackson, III

    Occasionally I will add
    a few thoughts to my blog. If you find them inspirational, I will be
    honored.

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