Somebody very dear to me, someone I know and love very much, recently had herself a birthday. Of course, I would not dare to mention her name here. For my part, I would never want to do anything to make her feel any older than she already is! :-)
However, her recent birthday did get me to thinking about this whole business of aging. So, I decided to do a little research on the subject; and low and behold, I discovered that she is not alone. Apparently, a lot of people are getting on up there in age.
Witness the following testimonials…
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and new knees; I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes; I'm half blind; I can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine; I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts; I have bouts with dementia; I have poor circulation; I hardly feel my hands and feet anymore; I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92; and I have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!
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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for over an hour. Whew, did I ever work up a sweat?! Unfortunately, though, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
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What do I hate the most about getting old? Well, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
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I've finally learned how to prevent sagging... Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
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It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
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These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to me and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' I replied: 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. To which I responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
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Reporters were interviewing me on my 104th birthday. One asked: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' I replied simply, 'No peer pressure.'
_____
Lastly, it seems fitting today to conclude my thoughts with this...
THE SENILITY PRAYER:
"God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference."
Amen!
SOURCE: Based on material found online at: http://jafs.ca/
2012/10/definition-of-old/.
However, her recent birthday did get me to thinking about this whole business of aging. So, I decided to do a little research on the subject; and low and behold, I discovered that she is not alone. Apparently, a lot of people are getting on up there in age.
Witness the following testimonials…
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and new knees; I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes; I'm half blind; I can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine; I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts; I have bouts with dementia; I have poor circulation; I hardly feel my hands and feet anymore; I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92; and I have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!
_____
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for over an hour. Whew, did I ever work up a sweat?! Unfortunately, though, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
_____
What do I hate the most about getting old? Well, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
_____
I've finally learned how to prevent sagging... Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
_____
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
_____
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
_____
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to me and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' I replied: 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. To which I responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
_____
Reporters were interviewing me on my 104th birthday. One asked: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' I replied simply, 'No peer pressure.'
_____
Lastly, it seems fitting today to conclude my thoughts with this...
THE SENILITY PRAYER:
"God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference."
Amen!
SOURCE: Based on material found online at: http://jafs.ca/
2012/10/definition-of-old/.