I do not know the origin of the piece, and several variations can be readily found with a quick internet search. My particular copy came from an e-mail (Thanks, Pam.) Be advised, however, for while it is humorous, it can also be a little convicting in places. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
**Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
**Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
**Halftime - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.
**Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
**Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
**Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
**Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
**Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
**Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
**Trap - You are called on to pray and are asleep.
**End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
**Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
**Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
**Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer on Sunday morning.