I mentioned yesterday in my message that a church member had assured me that it was still much cooler here than where he comes from out in Texas. I was tempted to chalk this up to typical Texan braggadocio, until I went online and did a little research. Lo and behold, he just may have been right. According to what I discovered…
IT'S SO HOT AND DRY IN TEXAS that...
....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
....hot water comes from both taps.
....you can make sun tea instantly.
....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
....the temperature drops below 95 degrees and you feel a little chilly.
....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside - at 7:30 A.M.
....your biggest fear of a motorcycle wreck is: "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.
....the cows are giving evaporated milk.
....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
....the trees are actually whistling for the dogs.
….AND LASTLY (MY FAVORITE), IT'S NOW SO HOT AND DRY IN TEXAS that...
....the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, The Methodists are using wet-wipes, Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!
Now, that’s hot!