According to the dictionary, “cheer” is defined as “lightness of spirits or mood; gaiety or joy”. Therefore, before the holidays begin to get hectic, I thought I would use my post today to help spread a little Christmas cheer in advance. Enjoy…
What two things does most every girl want for Christmas? Her past forgotten and her present remembered!
How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas? Merry Christmas to Ewe!
What did the rabbit give his girlfriend for Christmas? A 14 carrot ring!
What do reindeers say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you!
Did you hear about the guy who played golf on Christmas and accidentally hit a bird? He got a partridge on a par three!
What keeps some people from ever coming down the chimney at Christmas dressed like Santa? Claustrophobia!
How do snowmen travel around at Christmas? By icicle!
How do you make a slow reindeer fast at Christmas? Don't feed it!
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe!
And last, but not least, a little Christmas poetry…
If you see a fat man who's jolly and cute,
wearing a beard and a red flannel suit,
and if he is chuckling and laughing away,
while flying around in a miniature sleigh,
with eight tiny reindeer to pull him along,
then let’s face it... your eggnog is waaayyy too strong!!!
Okay, I know they were all corny. But, hey, the chances are that there’s a smile on your face even now! And if not, then look at the bright side… You already know just what to buy me for Christmas: a brand new joke book!
SOURCE: Adapted from “Bill Demar’s Joke Page” at http://www.ventriloquistcentral.com/bill_demar_jokes.htm.
What two things does most every girl want for Christmas? Her past forgotten and her present remembered!
How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas? Merry Christmas to Ewe!
What did the rabbit give his girlfriend for Christmas? A 14 carrot ring!
What do reindeers say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you!
Did you hear about the guy who played golf on Christmas and accidentally hit a bird? He got a partridge on a par three!
What keeps some people from ever coming down the chimney at Christmas dressed like Santa? Claustrophobia!
How do snowmen travel around at Christmas? By icicle!
How do you make a slow reindeer fast at Christmas? Don't feed it!
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe!
And last, but not least, a little Christmas poetry…
If you see a fat man who's jolly and cute,
wearing a beard and a red flannel suit,
and if he is chuckling and laughing away,
while flying around in a miniature sleigh,
with eight tiny reindeer to pull him along,
then let’s face it... your eggnog is waaayyy too strong!!!
Okay, I know they were all corny. But, hey, the chances are that there’s a smile on your face even now! And if not, then look at the bright side… You already know just what to buy me for Christmas: a brand new joke book!
SOURCE: Adapted from “Bill Demar’s Joke Page” at http://www.ventriloquistcentral.com/bill_demar_jokes.htm.